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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sexy Rant of the Month Part 2

10 Video Game Studs I would Go Gay for: Part 2

Here it is.

The moment all 2 of you have been waiting for! Me talking about being gay some more!

5: Marcus Fenix from Gears of War. Power. Raw Power. Marcus Fenix is the personification of the term “ramming someone.” If you want a true sexing, go no further Marcus Fenix is the man for the Job. Try not to get too attached or he’ll leave you behind at Wendy’s crying and begging for more. Sometimes a man has to put duty over pleasure.

-True Love-

4: Sam Fischer: Sam Fischer is a mixed bag. His work has taken over his life. You can definitely see this in his sexual tactics. He’s tough, quick and ruthless. He’ll be done with you before you even knew he was there. If you’re into that sort of stuff, it can be the most gratifying sexual experience you’ve had. If not, you better remember your safe word.

-He forgot his-

3: Gordon Freeman from Half-Life. Mr. Freeman, the king of relatively meaningful FPS experiences and possibly the bedroom. Just like his creators paid attention to detail so will he. You’ve got an Itch? He’ll scratch it. You’ve got pipes that need cleaning, Internet that needs fixing, Anal Sex to be had? He’ll take care of all of it. AT ONCE. Watching him make love is almost more entertaining that actually making love to him. Truly this man is incredible. Maybe one day he’ll actually talk to me.

-He’ll even teach your kids how to dance like a true man-

2: The Entire Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Cast from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Call of Duty is a gay man’s wet dream. The only women in the entire game are slaughtered at the very beginning. With no women interfering we can only imagine what happens outside of the battlefield. Orgy upon orgy, gallons and gallons of semen…it’s a wonderful world.


He’ll give you the (Anal) mustache ride of your life.-

1: DØg from Half Life 2. By god. Look at it. …It’s perfect.

-All it takes is one swing and she’s out of the way-

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