Sexy Rant of the Month.

10 Video Game Studs I would Go Gay for:

Part 1

Few men are fine enough to make me want to penetrate them. Will Smith and the Late Bea Arthur being the top two. However, in the fictional world there are a horde of men that I would make passionate anal love to in a matter of seconds.

10: Master Chief

Alright let’s get the obvious out of the way. Master Chief; the Lord of frat guys and tween boys all over the world. Too many a time have I woken to a sticky grenade in my pants due to this godlike man. Alright, he probably can’t cook and he wouldn’t be gentle, but a sex tape with him would land me millions and that’s all I need. Maybe If I’m lucky he won’t “Shoot his way out” when he’s done.

“Like a fire hose that hits you in the face...then your face is gone”

9: Mario:

He’s Italian. This man would definitely show me a good time. He would take me out to a nice dinner, show me around Rome, and even let me drive his moped! We would then go back to his place for pizza and coffee. After many hours of delightful conversation we would proceed to clean each other’s pipes for hours on end. Sure he probably wouldn’t have much money, but he would love me for who I am.

"The princess is in another castle...but I'm here for you...always"

8: Solid Snake:

This man is most likely the best love maker mankind has ever seen. He’s a real man’s man. He’s a pretty blunt man though and I assume we would skip all the formalities and go straight to the fucking. Let’s just hope he doesn't get a call midway through.

"True Beauty"

7: Toon Link from Super Smash Brothers. Because I’m a pervert ...And look at that ass.

"What's your final smash?"

6: Ezio Auditore da Firenze: Yet another Italian (see Mario). This man is an expert at giving it from behind, something that would definitely benefit gay sexing. He’d also be pretty great at getting rid of evil X boyfriends. To be honest the main factor for him …he’s hot. I WOULD DO INSANE THINGS TO HIM.

…He’s really hot….

So…I have to go….do something…. part 2 will come soon.

"Animus? More like ANALmus."

(I'm sorry for that)

Bonus: Xerxes.

Because I wanted to use this picture.

Sincerely,

-Val-